Ok, maybe I do. I moved to Toronto under a year ago and yes, there is a stark reality to making friends as an adult-it can be challenging! It takes effort and I like having people to hang out with and do things with! What to do????
When I moved to Calgary in 2008, same thing, “Where do I make friends?” Thing is-it happens with patience and time-and sometimes luck! Ok, so you have to go out to let the friends you find outta luck, well, find you!
Easier said than done but loneliness is a trick too. It can make you think that people wouldn’t like you anyway or that you aren’t fun to begin with, so why bother. It is boring to feel lonely!
How do you overcome that 'lonliness trick'?
1. Tell yourself that you are worth knowing (even if you don’t 100% believe it)
2. Get out, take an aimless walk (“tip-toe through the tulips with me”)
3. Say hi or smile at a stranger when you make random eye-contact (don’t have expectations)
4. Find something that interests you and do it with randoms (eek!!!! ok, just kidding, it’s fun!)
5. It can be NORMAL to over-hear conversations. If someone is talking about your favorite show, say, “I just overheard-that is such a good show!” (add your own flare as needed)
6. “Hey, I like your t-shirt! Funny!” People usually like to be complimented (right?)
7. Throw caution to the wind (huh, what? scary!) If you think about it, you can only gain a friend or interaction with someone new, not lose one (oh, yeah! less scary…)
Ok, so I’m a bit sarcastic in some of my comments but I hope my message comes across-it definitely can be AWKWARD, but it doesn’t have to be!
Here is a short, one minute, buzz feed video that sums some of this up. Oh, and there is a cat in the video! Enjoy!
~Amira Lodhi, MSW